just-shower-thoughts:

Astrology is to astronomy as alchemy is to chemistry

delia-pavorum:

tessaviolet:

ningcomepoop:

wholmesianmisfit:

Who remembers

Motherfucking Scholastic

Book

Orders

And then the magical traveling circus of scholastic would randomly show up

at the motherfucking BOOK FAIR

love

seriously the best ever.

Yo we still have Scholastic. I just stamped the October due date on a million of these flyers for my class. The Scholastic Book Fair is literally happening at my school RIGHT NOW. Scholastic Lives!!

kimpossibooty:

kimpossibooty:

kimpossibooty:

Fun fact my grandpa was in the Air Force but only because he cheated his way in

So he did a great job with everything all along the way, until he hit got to his marksmanship test.

Now, my grandpa is a great shot. The catch is, he’s left-handed. And the people administering the test did not like that and insisted he shoot righty.

Naturally, he sucked at it. But he had a few tricks up his sleeve. And by tricks, I do mean a pencil.

When my grandpa went up to retrieve his target, the man pulled out a pencil, stabbed a bunch of holes in the center, and called it a day.

The grift worked, he passed with flying colors, and he began a 30+ year career as an Air Force engineer, helping design the B-2 Bomber, and being a general badass.

Also, he’s led me to believe he knows information about aliens, and the man would never joke about something like that.

People are asking about the alien thing. All I know is that my grandpa had access to confidential information and absolutely no sense of humor. He has learned classified secrets and he would never pull a prank. When my mom and her sisters were kids, they once joked about if aliens are real, and he stopped them in their tracks to sternly tell them that they never, ever, ever are to joke about that again.

He knows SOMETHING is what I’m saying.

crow–teeth:

e-seal:

e-seal:

Pot holes are undomesticated bowls

this post does psychic damage and it shows

me, eating overcooked spaghetti noodles from a pothole in the middle of the road: wild bowl :)

crow–teeth:

e-seal:

e-seal:

Pot holes are undomesticated bowls

this post does psychic damage and it shows

me, eating overcooked spaghetti noodles from a pothole in the middle of the road: wild bowl :)

biggaybunny:

Early video game designer: Okay, we’re just about done with this level

Video game designer’s manager: Great! Did you figure out what to put at the end?

designer: Yeah, we put this tough, nasty, mean, ugly monster that the player has to beat. We made sure killing the monster feels as rewarding as possible.

manager: Cool! So what’s it called?

designer: The boss.

manager:

manager: why’s it called that

newtgeiszler:

“if there are no cops at pride who will protect us” bears and butches next question

trans-lesbian-glimmer:

impalassible-nottolove:

So my friend works in the sound booth at his church and during the sermon, the preacher started bashing on gay people, so my friend muted him. Literally muted his preachers microphone I

Direct action

grossaustralian:

tipsykipsy:

perpetualyesterday:

today there was a “flash mob” set up by the seniors because it was their second to last day so they blasted the macarena over the loud speaker and did the dance in the main lobby but our headmaster knew about it so it wasn’t even funny but whilst walking past the elevator i found out why they really did this so called “flash mob”

it was a distraction

they put chickens in the elevator

This was wild because I forgot your high schoolers are called seniors and I thought you were talking about old folks

“it was their second to last day”